Seeing as how Olympus has had my malfunctioning Stylus 710 for more than a month now and it’s been exactly four silent weeks to the day since I wrote them back suggesting Olympus go take a flying leap after the company wrote telling me they considered the damage to be beyond warranty coverage and weren’t going to repair the unit unless I ponied up $156.47, I called ’em up on the phone this morning and waded through the voicemail prompts until getting a human voice to find out why the hell they hadn’t sent me my broken camera back yet.
“Do you have a service repair number, sir?”
“Indeed I do.”
Silence.
“And that number would be, sir?”
“Printed right here on the letter I got from Olympus dated May 1 telling me to pay $156.47, which I declined to do because I shouldn’t have to.”
More silence.
“Sir, may I have that number?”
“Sure. It’s 814472.”
Silence except for some keyclicks in the background.
More silence.
Finally: “It says here sir that repairs are being made as a courtesy to you.”
“Oh, really?”
“Yes.”
“A courtesy?”
“Yes sir.”
“That’s nice. Any idea as to how long this ‘courtesy’ is going to take?”
Silence.
“An ETA? Perhaps a ballpark guess?”
“No.”
“No?”
“Sir I expect they’re waiting for whatever required part to arrive and will fix your camera when it does.”
“Well I should hope so.”
Silence.
“But you aren’t at liberty to divulge how or when that might be or how long that might take?”
“No sir.”
“Why not?”
“I don’t have that information, sir.”
“Because my camera’s in Irvine and you’re in Bangalor, right?”
Silence.
“Or is it Manila?”
“Is there anything I can help you with, sir?”
“You can help me figure out how long I’m going to have to wait for my camera.”
Silence.
“Days maybe?”
“Yes sir.”
“Or weeks.”
“Yes sir.”
“Months?”
Silence.
“Years even?”
“No, not that long, sir.”
“Not how long: months or years?”
“Either, sir.”
“Well that’s a relief.”
“Yes sir.”
“So I can expect the camera fixed and back in a matter of weeks then?”
“I can’t say that for certain, sir.”
“Come on… as a courtesy?”
Silence.
“I think that word means something different to you than to me.”
Silence.
Silence.
UPDATED (5/31): Is Olympus reading my blog? Could be the explanation as to why I answered a phone call on my cell from a Pennsylvania area code (the state where the company is headquartered) at 8 a.m. this morning to find myself talking to a nice young man named Zeus (not really; but wouldn’t that rock to be named Zeus and work at Olympus?) who wasted no time using that “courtesy” word again in telling me that as a one-time-only deal his company is willing to eat the cost to repair my camera. Furthermore and more importantly he dispelled the previously elusive timeframe by advising me the unit with full functionality restored would be on its way back to me in five to seven days. Glory to the gawdz!
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